Cell...A (Sort Of) Review, And Instigator For Divorce...K.L. Almeroth's Book Club, Edition 4
December 3rd 2006 02:52
Cell, by Stephen King.
A zombie fest. But not.
Technically, these 'changed people' are not zombies. Discrepancies such as they're not really eating brains (although they will certainly rip you to shreds and eat you), they don't go out at night, they're not really dead to begin with...
I could go on, but I'm not really an expert on zombies (considering I'm the Romantic Writer, and all!).
Long story short, they're Zombies, But Not.
The book opens and jumps straight into the gore fest, which we all want, as deranged, blood-thirsty readers. Just straight into the ripping into of another human being - or entire population.
It all starts with answering your cell phone (or mobile, as us Aussies like to call them). Suddenly you've received a signal, or 'Pulse', as it's called, and, walaa!, you're a Zombie (But Not).
Civilization falls into disrepair, and those that were lucky enough not to own cell phones, or not to answer them, are the only ones still in a present state of what us humans like to call...humans.
Our main character, Clay, is anxious (as you would be! Hello! Crazy people taking over the world!) to get home to his son and estranged wife. He's interstate, and he bands together with a gay guy and a teenage girl, to get across the border and to his home.
They meet up with other survivors, and endure lots of seriously creepy things happening to them, and around them, as these ZBN's slowly kill one and all of the 'Normies' left.
This novel is King at his classic best. I really enjoyed this book.
The ending, however, is quite sad, and made me cry for ages. Sort of left me in this zombie-like, depressed state.
I borrowed the book from the library. It was one of those 'Meant To Be' moments, where this gorgeous (okay, bloody) hard-cover copy of Cell was just sitting there. Blood on the cover, spilling over, and calling to me...
'Karina,' it whispered. 'Karina...borrow me now! Borrow me now, or risk the eternal wrath of Stephen King and Brisbane City Council actually having a new book - a glorious hard-cover at that - sitting on the shelves, free and ready, without you having to wait for 100 other patrons to borrow, read and drop their food scraps all over the pages first....'
Yes, it was a seriously creepy voice, calling to me.
Then my Husband (I use the term loosely) stole it out from under my nose at home. Then went on to patronize me...
'You won't be able to stomach it, hon.'
'This book is WAY too full-on for you.'
'You're too much of a delicate flower for this.'
Um, excuse me? Delicate flower??
(Delicate flower, my great big fat butt)
Does he even know me, this man that calls himself my husband (cause I don't! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...petty revenge, I know)?
Where has he been for the past 4 years of marriage?
18 hours of labour, anyone? 9 hours without pain relief?
(Yes, reverting to the old Giving Birth arguement, but hey! I don't have any other arguement lined up)
Anyway, this sounded like a challenge to me - and how I love challenges (I got married, didn't I? That's one great big challenge there).
I had to go fairly easy on my husband, I reasoned (after he bled; again). After all, he hasn't always known me. I COME from the dark side.
I've a romantic dark side that runs deep.
So, of course, I devoured the book with thirsty greed, gore and all. I'm a huge King fan, as my husband must surely know.
(I can see the legal papers now: Reason for Filing Divorce:
'HE SAYS I'M A DELICATE FLOWER! Doesn't he know I read King? Koontz?
There's your irreconcilable differences right there!)
So, yes, divorce talk over Cell and all...
The book was fab. If you're an old-school King fan, you'll love it.
If you're a fan of horror movies, especially zombie flicks, you'll love this book (interesting note: King even mentions Romero in his dedication at the beginning, a sure sign you're in for a zombie gore fest. See Horrorphile's posts for more on the Romero-King relationship...I can see these two, one horror director and one horror writer, sitting around the dining room table, sinking back beers and having a whale of a time - or zombie of a time - exchanging horror stories).
Either way, Cell is dark, funny, gory, terrifying.
King is still the King of Horror.
Promised, and posted, for Bryn, our resident Dark Horse on Orble.
A zombie fest. But not.
Technically, these 'changed people' are not zombies. Discrepancies such as they're not really eating brains (although they will certainly rip you to shreds and eat you), they don't go out at night, they're not really dead to begin with...
I could go on, but I'm not really an expert on zombies (considering I'm the Romantic Writer, and all!).
Long story short, they're Zombies, But Not.
The book opens and jumps straight into the gore fest, which we all want, as deranged, blood-thirsty readers. Just straight into the ripping into of another human being - or entire population.
It all starts with answering your cell phone (or mobile, as us Aussies like to call them). Suddenly you've received a signal, or 'Pulse', as it's called, and, walaa!, you're a Zombie (But Not).
Civilization falls into disrepair, and those that were lucky enough not to own cell phones, or not to answer them, are the only ones still in a present state of what us humans like to call...humans.
Our main character, Clay, is anxious (as you would be! Hello! Crazy people taking over the world!) to get home to his son and estranged wife. He's interstate, and he bands together with a gay guy and a teenage girl, to get across the border and to his home.
They meet up with other survivors, and endure lots of seriously creepy things happening to them, and around them, as these ZBN's slowly kill one and all of the 'Normies' left.
This novel is King at his classic best. I really enjoyed this book.
The ending, however, is quite sad, and made me cry for ages. Sort of left me in this zombie-like, depressed state.
I borrowed the book from the library. It was one of those 'Meant To Be' moments, where this gorgeous (okay, bloody) hard-cover copy of Cell was just sitting there. Blood on the cover, spilling over, and calling to me...
'Karina,' it whispered. 'Karina...borrow me now! Borrow me now, or risk the eternal wrath of Stephen King and Brisbane City Council actually having a new book - a glorious hard-cover at that - sitting on the shelves, free and ready, without you having to wait for 100 other patrons to borrow, read and drop their food scraps all over the pages first....'
Yes, it was a seriously creepy voice, calling to me.
Then my Husband (I use the term loosely) stole it out from under my nose at home. Then went on to patronize me...
'You won't be able to stomach it, hon.'
'This book is WAY too full-on for you.'
'You're too much of a delicate flower for this.'
Um, excuse me? Delicate flower??
(Delicate flower, my great big fat butt)
Does he even know me, this man that calls himself my husband (cause I don't! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...petty revenge, I know)?
Where has he been for the past 4 years of marriage?
18 hours of labour, anyone? 9 hours without pain relief?
(Yes, reverting to the old Giving Birth arguement, but hey! I don't have any other arguement lined up)
Anyway, this sounded like a challenge to me - and how I love challenges (I got married, didn't I? That's one great big challenge there).
I had to go fairly easy on my husband, I reasoned (after he bled; again). After all, he hasn't always known me. I COME from the dark side.
I've a romantic dark side that runs deep.
So, of course, I devoured the book with thirsty greed, gore and all. I'm a huge King fan, as my husband must surely know.
(I can see the legal papers now: Reason for Filing Divorce:
'HE SAYS I'M A DELICATE FLOWER! Doesn't he know I read King? Koontz?
There's your irreconcilable differences right there!)
So, yes, divorce talk over Cell and all...
The book was fab. If you're an old-school King fan, you'll love it.
If you're a fan of horror movies, especially zombie flicks, you'll love this book (interesting note: King even mentions Romero in his dedication at the beginning, a sure sign you're in for a zombie gore fest. See Horrorphile's posts for more on the Romero-King relationship...I can see these two, one horror director and one horror writer, sitting around the dining room table, sinking back beers and having a whale of a time - or zombie of a time - exchanging horror stories).
Either way, Cell is dark, funny, gory, terrifying.
King is still the King of Horror.
Promised, and posted, for Bryn, our resident Dark Horse on Orble.
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Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Well, that's another book to add to my "things I have to read" list.
I love the classic King books and, from what you say, it sounds like I'll really enjoy this one too.
Honestly ... delicate flower? Men will make anything up, won't they, just to get their way! There is absolutely nothing wrong with using the "I had a long and hard labour and what were you doing at the time? Oh that's right enjoying the laughing gas, weren't you" ploy. After all, playing for sympathy is so feminine, don't you think!?
Love the description: "they're zombies but they're not" ... very intriguing! Keeps the suspense alive.
Will catch up with you again soon.
A.H. Caramel Cupcake (like this one much better than Old Fangy).
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Hey Old Fangy...er, I mean my darling Caramel Cupcake,
Reader of Kit...whisperer of sweet things in my ear...
Not I just sound a bit gay.
Anyway, my Beloved Bitey, I'm so glad to see you be the first to respond to my King Tribute post. With you, DD and my (actual) sister, I now have a fan club totally...3.
4, if I include myself...which I will. Since I'm my own biggest fan.
(Now I sound both gay and egotistic...but what is wrong with that, I ask?)
Anyway, you definately need to add Cell to your list...you being an old-school fan yourself, you will love it.
You are, however, pregnant (just in case you forgot, or something...sorry, I can feel those fangs coming out again), so it might be a bit much to swallow...
Oh, God, now I sound patronizing myself...
Sorry, I take it all back! You are definately NOT a delicate flower.
Your Cherry Apple sis,
K.L.
xoxo
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop
There is nothing wrong with being an egotistical homosexual, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!
There is also nothing wrong with being your own biggest fan ... if you don't believe in yourself, your writing and your characters then no-one else will either. Personally, I am my biggest fan as well (and growing bigger everyday).
Hang on ... who told you I was pregnant. Damn, and I thought it was a secret.
Love your writing, my sweet Darky from the Dark Side.
A.H.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Actually, you could probably count your fan club as having 5 members. Just from the little I've read, I'm definitely a fan (even if you are an egotistical homosexual! lol). Especially seeing as how you're a girly girl with dark side tendencies. I like the dichotomy of that.
I now have to add this book to my list of books to read. Pleased to hear that King is going a bit old school. His newer stuff hasn't grabbed me the way his old works did (cue the Regurgitator song "I like your old stuff better than your new stuff").
KylieW
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To my Caramel Cupcake (or CC for short; now that reminds me of Bette Midler in Beaches...she has red hair, too! Although you're claiming you don't have red hair...I can sense a red head in there),
Thank you for your kind, sweet words, as usual...
This is what I keep you around for...those sweet words!!
One of your fans,
K.L. (Now known as the Dark Romantic Writer)
xoxo
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Hi KylieW!
Hey could I forget you, my dear?? One of my first, early fans!
Of course you're in the fan club....wow, I've got 5 now!!!
Except, with my big head, that's really about 100 fans I've now got....
Yes, Cell is great....you will enjoy it, my old-school King girl.
Your Dark Girly Girl,
K.L.
P.S. I am not homosexual! I may be egotistical, a communist, but K.L. is not a porn star.
P.P.S. That was supposed to be funny, and a take off of Grandpa in The Simpsons...but it kind of backfired.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Haha, good try anyway. It's very hard to emulate Grandpa Simpson on paper!
KylieW
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Ya-huh. What does that make me??
"Delicate flower" eh?
Mannn...your husband likes pain doesn't he? Kinky stuff.
I hope you are well my Golden GPMBL sister...I see our Caramella Cupcake is/was here...must visit her...will PM in the pm...
Is the movie 'Cell' starring La Lopez based on this book?
Talk to you sooner rather than later my sweet K.L.
DuskyD
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Hi KylieW,
Yeah, at least I tried!!
Made myself laugh at least (that's all that's important!)...and you (I hope).
xox
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Hey my DuskyD,
How I've missed you!
I figured you were spending time with your family...but I've missed you these last couple of days...
How is everything???
Yes, I remember your sweet whisperings in my ear, that made us run off together and become the Harem-Wagon...
Yes, my husband obviously likes to bleed....(delicate flower? What was he thinking? He was sober, too....not like I can blame it on him being drunk)
I don't think the movie is the same one...(sorry for the sniggering I did while replying to that question...I truly am sorry, my sister).
Alright, Sweet Turquoise, hope to see you soon!
Your sis,
K.L.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Come on now, my Golden Dusk,
You can never look stupid....you're too beautiful to be stupid (did that sound stupid??)...
Love your Gremlins reference....love The Gremlins!!! Love it!!
But The Goonies is my all-time favourite movie....have I ever told you that??
Your Pink-Hued sis,
K.L.
oxo
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
"Good enuf for you, good enuf for me, they're good enuf...oh yi yi yooooooooo...."
That was my re-endition of Cyndi Lauper.
Thank you. Thank you.
And no, you didn't tell me that but I know now...yet another thing in common...sigh...
Actually my darling K.l....I am most impressed with this whole Romantic Gothic (gothic as in dark and mysterious not as in too much eye-liner and not enough sun) thing about you.
I love that you have all this tumbling golden hair and flawless princess skin and craving for...sorry...taste for pink champagne and your favourite colour is pink yet...you're a sicko!!
I can sooo see you as this buxom lady vampire hunter in the 1600s (or whichever period has those heaving bosom costumes), golden cascade of curls falling over your shoulder of the arm that clutches a wooden stake...other hand delicately hoisting the skirts of your finely laced dress...as you brace your elegantly clad feet to strike...the gorgeous vampyre Corkula, who is about to launch a strike of his own hesitates...should he fight this bewitching mortal in front of him...or bite her...or kiss her...she looks dangerous...best not to call her a delicate flower...
I am not drinking. Well...technically I am...but...This is not a glass of G&T in front of me. This is a cup of coffee. (what's in it? looking, smelling, hmm, just coffee).
Lawd....
Comment by Federline
I've got ya zombie right here!
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Oh DD,
You should be the Romantic Writer on Orble...
You just swept me away!
I will treasure what you wrote forever....both as a laugh, and a serious flashback to my past!!!
I wish!!! I wish Corkula vampire and I had butted heads (and more) centuries ago....
Sigh.
And I am super-impressed you love The Goonies!!! You rock!!!
And the fact that you can recite the song....
Let's just run off together now!
Your Sicko Pink sis,
K.L.
xoox
P.S. I don't know if I believe you about the G & T.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Federline,
You've lost that loving feeling...woo-oohh-that loving feeling...
K.L.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
(sorry...that's the next line in a song from 'Grease 2', which by the way I loved...that has that line in it...well sort of..."I've got your pistel right here"...so really in this case, it should be...)
Where does the bandage go?
...that makes no sense...
Federline....you're funny!
Are your students in any danger of being thrown-up on today??
Dusk
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
I swear on my Western Barbie's white cowboy boots...twas not G&T.
Someone might have slipped a nip of Tia Maria in my coffee though...I dunno....
Sigh....we are just so meant to be...
DuskyD
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
DuskyD,
I'm cracking up here...hilarious!
Laughing about you knowing all the songs from Grease 2, too!!
(You guessed it) I love Grease 2!!! I love Michelle Phieffer in it...she is so aloof and hot!
Yes, you give me goosebumps, DD!
Oh, I can't believe A.H. has posted!!! Heading over there now...
Your sis,
K.L.
xoxo
Comment by Andrea
Diet and Health
V8 Supercar Pitstop