WaysouthIf You Had One Year Left, Which Dream Would You Rush Out To Fulfill?
October 8th 2006 22:24
We've all gone through it..the 'My life is going nowhere.' 'I thought I'd be married with kids by now.' 'I thought I'd be, well, a lot better off financially by now.'
You thought you'd have the house, the 2.4 kids, the nest egg growing in the bank, the career you'd always lusted after.
Perhaps the reality is different (oh, and how I loathe to live in reality). Perhaps you're miserable with your current lot in life. Perhaps you're just a little bit lost or depressed.
Everyone has gone through it, at one time in their life - or maybe multiple times!
A Friend (in the interest of protecting their identity, and save myself from their wrath at my dedicating a post to this) is floundering a bit at the moment. Heck, sometimes I think my whole existence is one of a fish, constantly floundering on the water's surface (I am Piscean, though, so this may have something to do with it).
But Friend is going through this now (not on a daily basis, or because of their star sign).
I posed this to Friend: If you knew you only had one year left to live on this beautiful ball of mud called Earth, what would you do?
And there it was: instant clarity.
Well, perhaps not instant, but it sure did help Friend to focus.
This technique ensures what you're truly lusting after pops to the forefront of your brain. It helps you to prioritize your dreams, your goals, or your wants, and bring the one most important to you to the surface.
I then, in my infinite wisdom (yes, everybody can snigger), went one step further. I told Friend to write down all their dreams, not just career wise, but emotional, physical, material. If you want that hot pink Holden Commodore, put that down (I know for a fact Friend doesn't, however). If you want a degree, put that down. If you want marriage...
You better start dating and find that loved one!
Give yourself a goal and some timelines: in one year, what do you want? In five years? Ten years?
But this list should be your dream list, I said, not something to adhere to strictly. If in one year you haven't achieved what you'd set out to do, you are not allowed to jump off the nearest bridge.
I think we too often put unnecessary expectations on ourselves. You know - I thought I'd be a CPA by the time I was 30...I thought I'd be married...I didn't think I'd be divorced...I didn't think that at my age (27), the brand new, very loaned out car would break down, that we would have major medical appointments for my two-year-old, be worried where we'd live in 2 months time when our lease runs out...
I never thought I'd still not have our futures saved for by this age.
These are expectations we've put on ourselves at an early age, and schooling and family have helped place them there.
You didn't take into account life's random little throws (or full-blown punches). You didn't take into account you would not jump on the compound interest bandwagon until you were nearing 30.
You didn't do a lot of things.
That doesn't matter.
Look at what you have achieved, and be thankful and proud and happy for that. In my case, a husband, and number one of all, my beautiful baby girl. A family, wonderful friends. My writing. Books.
The list goes on and on.
My Friend is also feeling somewhat scared about changing their life, jumping in a new direction. Me, not being very cautious, or perhaps just being the dreamer that I am, told Friend to jump (but not off that bridge). Friend was worried about failure, not succeeding, messing their life up more.
Maybe that's the beauty of already being messed up plenty of times in my life - I told Friend to not worry about any of that. That there is no such thing as Failure. And, if there is, it only serves to point us in another direction.
Some see my uncompleted archaeology degree as failure. I don't agree, whatsoever. For one, I plan to finish that degree, and go on to complete my honours and my doctorate. I had very high marks at university, and was on the Dean's list twice, in the year and a half I was there.
I also met my husband, went on to have my beautiful girl, and my love of writing was focused at uni. I very much believe my Kit series, my Betrayal book, would never have been written without my having gone to university.
I got so much more out of that time, way more than merely a piece of paper with Degree stamped on it would have given me.
But back to dreams. My husband comments to me often on how I've got such clear-cut dreams. You now know them all - the writing, the success, the homes, the travel, the pink car. It infuriates him sometimes, that despite life's random throws, my dream list, my goal list, doesn't falter. I still focus on what I long for.
That's how I know these dreams of mine are true.
My Friend was quite surprised by my wisdom and advice, I think. Shocked that me, the eternal off-with-the-fairies girl, would be so clear and concise with this.
When it comes to emotions and longings and dreams, I know what I'm doing.
You thought you'd have the house, the 2.4 kids, the nest egg growing in the bank, the career you'd always lusted after.
Perhaps the reality is different (oh, and how I loathe to live in reality). Perhaps you're miserable with your current lot in life. Perhaps you're just a little bit lost or depressed.
Everyone has gone through it, at one time in their life - or maybe multiple times!
A Friend (in the interest of protecting their identity, and save myself from their wrath at my dedicating a post to this) is floundering a bit at the moment. Heck, sometimes I think my whole existence is one of a fish, constantly floundering on the water's surface (I am Piscean, though, so this may have something to do with it).
But Friend is going through this now (not on a daily basis, or because of their star sign).
I posed this to Friend: If you knew you only had one year left to live on this beautiful ball of mud called Earth, what would you do?
And there it was: instant clarity.
Well, perhaps not instant, but it sure did help Friend to focus.
This technique ensures what you're truly lusting after pops to the forefront of your brain. It helps you to prioritize your dreams, your goals, or your wants, and bring the one most important to you to the surface.
I then, in my infinite wisdom (yes, everybody can snigger), went one step further. I told Friend to write down all their dreams, not just career wise, but emotional, physical, material. If you want that hot pink Holden Commodore, put that down (I know for a fact Friend doesn't, however). If you want a degree, put that down. If you want marriage...
You better start dating and find that loved one!
Give yourself a goal and some timelines: in one year, what do you want? In five years? Ten years?
But this list should be your dream list, I said, not something to adhere to strictly. If in one year you haven't achieved what you'd set out to do, you are not allowed to jump off the nearest bridge.
I think we too often put unnecessary expectations on ourselves. You know - I thought I'd be a CPA by the time I was 30...I thought I'd be married...I didn't think I'd be divorced...I didn't think that at my age (27), the brand new, very loaned out car would break down, that we would have major medical appointments for my two-year-old, be worried where we'd live in 2 months time when our lease runs out...
I never thought I'd still not have our futures saved for by this age.
These are expectations we've put on ourselves at an early age, and schooling and family have helped place them there.
You didn't take into account life's random little throws (or full-blown punches). You didn't take into account you would not jump on the compound interest bandwagon until you were nearing 30.
You didn't do a lot of things.
That doesn't matter.
Look at what you have achieved, and be thankful and proud and happy for that. In my case, a husband, and number one of all, my beautiful baby girl. A family, wonderful friends. My writing. Books.
The list goes on and on.
My Friend is also feeling somewhat scared about changing their life, jumping in a new direction. Me, not being very cautious, or perhaps just being the dreamer that I am, told Friend to jump (but not off that bridge). Friend was worried about failure, not succeeding, messing their life up more.
Maybe that's the beauty of already being messed up plenty of times in my life - I told Friend to not worry about any of that. That there is no such thing as Failure. And, if there is, it only serves to point us in another direction.
Some see my uncompleted archaeology degree as failure. I don't agree, whatsoever. For one, I plan to finish that degree, and go on to complete my honours and my doctorate. I had very high marks at university, and was on the Dean's list twice, in the year and a half I was there.
I also met my husband, went on to have my beautiful girl, and my love of writing was focused at uni. I very much believe my Kit series, my Betrayal book, would never have been written without my having gone to university.
I got so much more out of that time, way more than merely a piece of paper with Degree stamped on it would have given me.
But back to dreams. My husband comments to me often on how I've got such clear-cut dreams. You now know them all - the writing, the success, the homes, the travel, the pink car. It infuriates him sometimes, that despite life's random throws, my dream list, my goal list, doesn't falter. I still focus on what I long for.
That's how I know these dreams of mine are true.
My Friend was quite surprised by my wisdom and advice, I think. Shocked that me, the eternal off-with-the-fairies girl, would be so clear and concise with this.
When it comes to emotions and longings and dreams, I know what I'm doing.
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by spain01
Juan Carlos
spain again
While your'e about it
Viva l'difference
Fire News Blog
Cities dying of thirst.
Comment by Andrew
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
Glad you guys have dreams!
K.L.
Comment by Johanna
PCOS Mum
Comment by Nathan P. Mahney
NerdBlog
The Comic Nerd
Barring that I would knuckle down, finish my novel, and try to otherwise create the largest body of written work possible. I've been sitting on this thing for 5 years!
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Johanna,
I'm sure you already give your son the world, just by being his mummy...
And I love your dream...do you have definate plans to do this?
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Nathan,
Congrats on your romantic life!
I completely feel your written dreams...one of my books has taken me 3 years to complete...
The End comes eventually, though, doesn't it?
Good luck with it...you can do it!
K.L.
Comment by Johanna
PCOS Mum
Comment by Homer Joyce
I'm getting too old to be rushing after dreams. I'm worn out (make that burnt out) from rushing after them.
There's no way I can fit my dream into a year. It involves finishing too many works-in-progress.
But, for the sake of the exercise, and where I'd like to be in one year's time if I'm not allowed to be on top of the West Gate Bridge: At the book launch of The Odd Asylum, or the premiere of Nothing Land. I could probably resign myself to death by intoxication (of the literary kind) and not have to jump off the bridge.
Part of the dream would involve not being single, and since I can't afford to pay for an escort, sometime within the next five minutes, the woman of my dreams would turn up here professing her love for more than my brain. My enthusiasm for rushing at my dreams would come back to me instantly ...
H.J.
Comment by Chantal
I'd finish my novel, release a cd, buy a holiday house in Byron! So many things I'd love to do!
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
However, in the meantime (please forgive me), but I just have to say that your rather excellent blog is constantly ruined for me, buy the violent (unromantic) horror of trying to read Turquoise, against that Blinding Freashia background. It makes my eyes water. The writing is stimulating enough, believe me, K.L.
You have my attention.
Lilla.
Comment by Vixter
People
Diet Food Lifestyle
CHEATERS
1 For The Road
I love it and think...No, KNOW I haev to be as clear with mine if i want to acheive that same fulfilment...I have got one thing right and that is I have stopped needing to justify myself in the workplace...you know trying to make good working extra hard when there was never a need - feeling I had to answer to people...sure there are people to answer to adn I care but I have relaxed...there is only so much you can do - I've learnt that...it is a little off the dream topic I know but that is something i have learnt.
As for dreams - I'll get back to you...another of my problems is that I am afraid to admit them.
I have started to but just a few people at a time.
Comment by Ailene
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To H.J.
I know exactly where you're coming from with the too-many-works to finish bit...
I swore at the start of this year that the 2 novels I'd already written 70,000 words of would be finished by the end of this year...plus another one sitting at 20,000...
Now the end of the year is in sight, and I'm kinda freaking about that goal!
Love your book launch goal/dream...I'll see you there!
K.L.
P.S. There is a romantic buried in you, isn't there? Just sparked another post...are all writers romantic? Not in the love-heart chocolates and roses kind of way, but in the dream big, living in another world, kind of way.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Chantal,
Thanks for reading...
I didn't realise you were a novelist, too! What do you write?
Love your dreams...I love Byron Bay myself!
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Lilla,
I'm glad you love my work, and that I have a fan!
I must apologize for blinding you...sorry about that...
I'm a bit like this (okay, a lot like this) in real life...I think my family and friends permanently have blinders on when they're around me...
I'm a pink girl, everything is bright pink in my life...lucky I have a little girl who loves bubblegum pink just as much...
And there's something about turquoise that really lifts me...
Maybe I will play with some colours...or maybe I'm just promising something I have no ability to change...I will apologize in advance then, if I'm unable to let these colours go...
Thanks for reading, and enjoying (at least, my words!)!
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Vixter,
Yes, there is alot of fear in even acknowledging your dreams....your internal dialogue automatically goes into the negative mode, telling you there's no way you can achieve this, and blah, blah...
But of course you can achieve anything you truly want and work towards!
But then there are those people in your life that are the equivalent of dream-killers, too...I've got a few....
Sometimes people just can't help killing your dreams, but I just chose to ignore them....
I'll send them a copy of my first book...and a postcard from Hawaii....
Looking forward to hearing your dreams,
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Ailene,
You're not dreaming hard enough, girl!
Although, I'd love to be taller myself...oh, and I'd love to see Ancient Egypt, and have a conversation with Cleopatra...
That would be fantastic!
K.L.
P.S. Thanks for reading!
Comment by LaurenD
OK so here's mine... I'd write as fast as I could. I'd drink a Tanqueray gin and tonic with lime every night. I'd visit Ankor Wat and take the Siberian Rail. I'd go to the great annual horse race in Mongolia. And if I knew I only had a year--- I'd take up smoking again. Why not?
LaurenD
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
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PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
and to everyone who says they'll look for true love and yadyadayada, well just for the record, you probably won't find it. No use looking for it now that you have one year to live.
Perhaps if I knew exactly when I would die, I'd do something crazy on the last day of my life, not too crazy becase I do believe in an after life, but just crazy enough.
Maybe try and break a world record, heck, if I knew when I was going to die I'd bloody well climb mount eversest in my underwear, knowing full well I'm not going to die until said day.
Comment by Alfa
Bad Habit Blog
Comment by Homer Joyce
It’s nice that you think of me as a romantic. Most women I’ve met in my life consider me a sick, perverted, sexual animal.
I was always under the impression that romance was fleeting, and assumed that becoming a sick, perverted, sexual animal was just a logical progression.
H.J.
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To LaurenD,
Love your dreams....
I've always kind of wished I was a smoker...even tried to smoke a whole packet of pink cigarettes once...
But it's just not me...I wish it was, but it's not...
Thanks for reading!
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Ahmed,
You crack me, you really do...
What's your dream? Go on, tell....
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
To Alfa,
I think every woman goes through this, sooner or later...desperate for that one wish to come true!
It'll happen (I know that is absolutely no help whatsoever, and you're probably at the stage of throttling people that say that to you! Sorry!)
Thanks for reading!
K.L.
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
H.J.
You always think worse of yourself than you actually are...
That was really very deep, don't you think??
K.L.
Comment by Homer Joyce
If I hadn't spent ten years mulling over the same thought ... I would say it was very deep ...
Sorry, I'm in a flippant mood tonight ...
What's new? did I hear you say?
H.J.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I'll write something when I learn to read properly...
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
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MS Paint Art
so different. Don't worry about things that make no sense, just peep into the fairy's dell, then
take time to explore it. K.L. from katyzzz - hmmm initials are quicker, wish I'd thought about that,
but katyzzz stands out more for the search engines.
Comment by Brian
Comment by K.L. Almeroth
Motherhood
A very sweet dream, Brian.
I completely agree with you!
K.L.