The Emotions of Not Being Published
Why do I cry each month, the first Thursday, of every month?
And, no, this is not where the male audience should tune out.
You see, I cry at the first Thursday of each month, because my Romance Writers of Australia monthly journal arrives. For some reason, this just sends the tears flowing.
Today, like every first Thursday, I feel something in the air. I'm buzzing with energy, despite the fact that I have no caffeine in the house (and that's a whole other problem there! No caffeine makes K.L. go crazy!). I await the postman like he's my long-lost lover.
Finally, midday draws near (my postie doesn't come earlier than this). Miss Toddler and I eat, I put her down for her nap, wait the obligatory half hour for her to fall asleep, then rush outside for my affair with the letterbox.
And yes, the long, yellow envelope is there. It has arrived!
I savour the moment, shut down the laptop that was already up and waiting for its usual hour long enjoyment while bubba is asleep...
I no longer need it. I've got the Hearts Talk.
I arrange for a tasty snack (not going to reveal what, for I fear all the fat jokes), and settle into an armchair.
And promptly burst into tears.
Okay, that's dramaticising the situation. A couple of rolling teardrops cascade down my cheek, while I read this journal.
That's probably more accurate (okay, the sobbing quite uncontrollably and very unattractively was more accurate).
So you're probably all figuring I'm some kind of nut-job by now. No, I'm no nut-job (at least, I don't think I am), I am merely a creative person.
No further explanation needed.
I think I cry at this publication, because it is very motivating. If I've gotten into a lull with my writing, or I've hit that writer's block wall, or I'm depressed by my actual life, for whatever reason, this little journal does something to me.
It lightens my heart, it brings me the hope I may have lost after 3 nights of not being able to string a sentence together.
It assures me writers do actually get published out there. The pages of this journal are filled with success stories, and motivating articles, and hints and tips, and funny quotes.
All designed to get you back at the laptop, and get you writing.
Once a month, I'm given some hope. I go back to that belief I actually first held, and that keeps me writing: I will be published.
I cry because I can feel it, taste the publishing world, on the tip of my tongue. I see it in my future; I spend vast quantities of time (probably more than is considered healthy) fantasizing about my future, and all it holds.
Hey, apparantly this is a key factor in becoming successful in life, according to some very famous how-to books.
You need to taste it, visualize it, see it in your future.
Oh, I see it, alright.
I see 'Betrayal' in all the bookstores, throughout the world (dream big, remember, if you're going to dream at all), the cover black, the title in hot pink writing...I can taste the salty sea wind, the cocktail I'm drinking, see the palm tree above me sway gently in the breeze...see Miss Toddler playing in the sand on our Hawaiian vacation (or, heck, property I will buy there)...I see myself driving around in my Barbie pink Holden Commodore I've purchased and demanded be painted said colour before I pick up the vehicle (yes, I imagine becoming all diva-like with my success)...I see gambling in Las Vegas, beautiful homes I will buy (particularly that mansion in Astoria, Oregon)...
I see my success, my dreams, my goals, all coming true...and all from my being published.
That's why I cry.
And, no, this is not where the male audience should tune out.
You see, I cry at the first Thursday of each month, because my Romance Writers of Australia monthly journal arrives. For some reason, this just sends the tears flowing.
Today, like every first Thursday, I feel something in the air. I'm buzzing with energy, despite the fact that I have no caffeine in the house (and that's a whole other problem there! No caffeine makes K.L. go crazy!). I await the postman like he's my long-lost lover.
Finally, midday draws near (my postie doesn't come earlier than this). Miss Toddler and I eat, I put her down for her nap, wait the obligatory half hour for her to fall asleep, then rush outside for my affair with the letterbox.
And yes, the long, yellow envelope is there. It has arrived!
I savour the moment, shut down the laptop that was already up and waiting for its usual hour long enjoyment while bubba is asleep...
I no longer need it. I've got the Hearts Talk.
I arrange for a tasty snack (not going to reveal what, for I fear all the fat jokes), and settle into an armchair.
And promptly burst into tears.
Okay, that's dramaticising the situation. A couple of rolling teardrops cascade down my cheek, while I read this journal.
That's probably more accurate (okay, the sobbing quite uncontrollably and very unattractively was more accurate).
So you're probably all figuring I'm some kind of nut-job by now. No, I'm no nut-job (at least, I don't think I am), I am merely a creative person.
No further explanation needed.
I think I cry at this publication, because it is very motivating. If I've gotten into a lull with my writing, or I've hit that writer's block wall, or I'm depressed by my actual life, for whatever reason, this little journal does something to me.
It lightens my heart, it brings me the hope I may have lost after 3 nights of not being able to string a sentence together.
It assures me writers do actually get published out there. The pages of this journal are filled with success stories, and motivating articles, and hints and tips, and funny quotes.
All designed to get you back at the laptop, and get you writing.
Once a month, I'm given some hope. I go back to that belief I actually first held, and that keeps me writing: I will be published.
I cry because I can feel it, taste the publishing world, on the tip of my tongue. I see it in my future; I spend vast quantities of time (probably more than is considered healthy) fantasizing about my future, and all it holds.
Hey, apparantly this is a key factor in becoming successful in life, according to some very famous how-to books.
You need to taste it, visualize it, see it in your future.
Oh, I see it, alright.
I see 'Betrayal' in all the bookstores, throughout the world (dream big, remember, if you're going to dream at all), the cover black, the title in hot pink writing...I can taste the salty sea wind, the cocktail I'm drinking, see the palm tree above me sway gently in the breeze...see Miss Toddler playing in the sand on our Hawaiian vacation (or, heck, property I will buy there)...I see myself driving around in my Barbie pink Holden Commodore I've purchased and demanded be painted said colour before I pick up the vehicle (yes, I imagine becoming all diva-like with my success)...I see gambling in Las Vegas, beautiful homes I will buy (particularly that mansion in Astoria, Oregon)...
I see my success, my dreams, my goals, all coming true...and all from my being published.
That's why I cry.
Motherhood
Thank you anonymous, that was very kind!
K.L.
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Does it make me stronger? More determined to succeed? Of course ... but I think I'd like to cry over a newsletter instead for a change. I must sign up for that one!
From what I've seen of your honest and compelling writing, K.L., I'm sure you will go far.
A.H.
To Andrea,
I know exactly what you mean...did you read my post on accepting rejection letters? I go into my fit at the letterbox, at yet another rejection...
Yes, crying over a newsletter is much lovelier! Do you know about the Romance Writers of Australia? Their website is www.romanceaustralia.com
A bit of free advertising for them there! God, I hope that wasn't against our contract with Orble....where's H.J. when you need him? He's read the fineprint carefully....
Thanks, Andrea, for your kind words....it's nice to know someone likes my writing!
K.L.
V8 Supercar Pitstop
I'll drop by the Romance Writers site and take a look. Anything that can help in any way at all is always good.
I did see the rejection letter post ... it just depressed me because I know exactly what you mean.
Keep up the great work.
A.H.
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
Motherhood
To Fingertip Titans Unite,
Thanks for reading...I love that you thought it was beautiful!
K.L.
attitudes that you are hoping for...*shaking my head sadly* I don't want to seem mean or harsh, but
Romantic? Do you want to create art? Do you want to see those words on paper because by
doing so, you will have achieved the very dream you have waited all your life to achieve? Does that
enter into your thoughts between the fancy cars and houses? If not, then that is a sad commentary
to make...that although you were given a gift, it is only as valuable as the monetary gain it brings. I
would like to think that all writers know that despite whether one person or one million has ever
read a word we have written, it doesn't matter. We are writers for the fact that we have put "pen to
paper" and written. Just a thought. I hope you accomplish everything you ever want to...you are a
talented writer.
To Anonymous,
Do not get me wrong here, I want to be published to see my art, my work, acknowledged, yes, for sure...
But what is wrong with having dreams that stem from that? What is wrong with wanting money?
I see nothing wrong with being materialistic...we, as humans, have created artefacts around us from day one...our whole lives have created a material culture around us...you can't be human and not want, or create, material things...
And I can't even be accused of being materialistic yet! That's for my future, and my dreams! I own absolutely nothing (except for my mind, my body, and my little girl - at least till she's 18!)...I am probably the least materialistic person I know (for now...let's not forget my dreams here)...
I think, as a society, we're brought up from day one with the attitude that money is bad...wanting things is bad... the mentality that money doesn't grow on trees...all that jazz...when all money is is a symbol...that's all it is...
Those fancy homes and pink car and lovely holidays I want...they will stem from my hard work, not from anything else...
Money will also bring me the peace of mind I don't have at the moment...I won't have to worry anymore about getting food on the table for the 3 of us...bills, how I'll keep our heads above water...my daughter's future will be provided for...
Success brings money...that's a fact...and success doesn't have to be all about materialistic things...I'm not the kind of person to accumlate cars and homes and act all diva-like (well, maybe I'll hang onto the diva), without providing for my loved ones...to see them taken care of is one of my dreams, too.
And I have numerous charities, already listed, that I will make a yearly contribution to.
I have it all figured out!
Thank you for your comment, it's really quite thought provoking, and I may just dedicate a post to it...
K.L.
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
Nothing great was ever achieved with the purpose of "Just getting by" ALL great things require a great dream to get them started.
I don't mean to offend "Anonymous" But it sounds like just one of the many jealous comments you will probably recieve on your rise to greatness.
Sure yourself up against these kinds of things. Anytime you stand above the crowd, you become an easy target. It ain't over yet, Your public is a fickle and jealous lover, and completely unpredictable.
It's actually a good sign when you get comments like these. If you ain't pissing nobody off, you ain't doing nothin' That's my wise nugget, and I'm exhausted from the effort. Good night.
PCOS Mum
I loved this post. I would be slightly worried about your love affair with a journal if I wasn't as obsessed with writing success myself. Instead I understand and applaud you for seeing your monthly tear-fest as a motivational tool rather than letting yourself get depressed about the other people's stories inside.
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
Watch it you don't daydream too much though, I, just like you, have many outwordly ambitions in life, sometimes I wonder if it'll change me too much if I achieve those ambitions, given how much I fantasize it, it sort of has become real, in a way...
To Fingertip Titans Unite,
Thank you so much for your kind words! (I much prefer these kind words than the other type!)
I really appreciate it...
K.L.
To Ahmed,
Thanks for your suggestion...I just might! I plan on letting them know one of their members is now writing for a webblog...I haven't done that yet!
K.L.
To Johanna,
Thanks for your comment, and lovely words...
Yes, it is a great motivator...reading about how other people are succeeding always is for me!
K.L.
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
Oh and I don't know if I told you this (as I seem to be telling everyone nowadays) but you should refresh the page once it loads (press F5) so that orble can log you in as the proper K.L.Almeroth and not as a guest with that name.
Don't know if it will work, I think it will/should, it works for me.
Photography Tips
Health Focus
MS Paint Art
These images are for your little one. Talk about them with her. The second is coloured in.
You can teach her the colours and "up and down" and "straight across" and teach geometrical shapes.
I LOVED WHAT YOU WROTE!
I wish I could cry. It's healthy, easier for some than others. Instead, for me, I just ache all over.
Your piece was sensitively and reflectively written. You shared your emotions with us and took us into reality and away from artificiality.
I'd love to hear from you.
Love and good luck, now and in the future.
Katyzzz
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
Romantic, it was nice to read your posts...good luck with everything!
Juan Carlos
spain again
While your'e about it
Viva l'difference
Fire News Blog
Cities dying of thirst.
Idiots Among Us
Fingertip Titans
http://www.fingertiptitans.com/the-pig-and-the-pearls/
Thank you for your lovely words...and the images!
Yes, I really am an emotional woman! As my writing surely must reflect!
Thanks for stopping by...I will be sure to stop by your site...
K.L.
To Ahmed,
I have refreshed the page like 5 million times!!! It won't let me log in on my own site!
It's driving me crazy!!!!!!!
Love your humour, by the way...with the whole Stephen King comment. You really are quite funny!
K.L.
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
(did you try clicking on 'login' by any chance? I bet you did).
To Anonymous,
I thank you for reading....and for helping me clarify my point of view, and dreams...not that I needed to, but I wanted to, for your sake, and for others, if they had interpreted me incorrectly.
It would be great if you could reveal yourself! I'm all intrigued now, as to who you are!
K.L.
To Ahmed,
I'm sure you weren't trying to be insulting then...
Of course I pressed Login!!! Multiple times!!! To the point that I hope it counts as a hit, and thus in turn I make some money from it!
Sorry...taking my anger out on my inablility to log in on you...when you're just trying to be helpful.
Please lodge that complaint! I'm being driven mad by this...as you can probably tell.
K.L.
To Fingertip Titans Unite,
I still thank you for rushing to my defence...I do similiar things for people...
It's an act of being honorable, I think.
Thank you!
K.L.
P.S. I will be sure to check out your new post.
To Spain/Juan (you've never revealed how you like to be addressed...for so long I've called you Juan, and now feel kind of silly, for some reason),
Thank you for reading and your comment...
I know it's hard, damn near impossible, to get published...but I'm not ready to give up yet!
If I come into money from some other source (need to come up with some invention, or something...or perhaps just start buying lottery tickets), I would start my own publishing house...that's another dream of mine.
Perhaps devoted solely to the struggling writers out there that can't get published!
K.L.
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
I posted it there, so we'll just have to wait and see whta happens now...
Thanks Ahmed...
It lets me log in on other people's sites, but I haven't been able to log in here for like 2 days!
K.L.
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
Well, I haven't posted a new one...you've found me out, this post is 2 days old!
No, seriously, I haven't been able to log in since the comments that show my face on it...not on this site, anyway...
There's some fault in it somewhere...
K.L.
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
It will delete you rhistory in everything, including this site so what happens is it doesn't try to automatically log you on. You can come back to this site and click on 'login' and login properly and see what happens.
THough you should be warned if you have saved logins for other sites they will also dissapear and you'll have to input your username/password into them again.
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
I liked your blog, and felt I should drop in a few words - perhaps help you to focus - outside the box, a little. Self Publish ... I hope that sounds exciting, at least, if not romantic. The trouble with the real world is that once you close the pages on your manuscript, you have to remember that the more glamourous it sounds, the harder it really is. Why not settle for the hard yards up front!. from what I have discoverd of the publishing world (as I march forward with my first book written), is that they are all a bunch of Schmultzies. I mean, I cannot believe how rude some have been on the phone. I won't do that to myself again! You can research copyright council site for ISBN numbers which anyone can buy and find good printers who specialise in helping self-pubnlishers get off the dotted line ... with dignity intact.
As for money ... well, you have to put a little aside from the housekeeping each week and wear trackky-daks - until Steven Spielberg discovers that your book is just what he is looking for for his nest challenge.
Good Luck my friend,
We'll share a Pina Colda under that palm tree together.
Motherhood
To Lilla,
Thank you for your kind words...I will definately look into self publishing a bit more.
Thank you for the lovely thoughts...more accurately, it's my pajamas that are worn out...anybody that doesn't understand how your daggy pj's can gradually wear out more and more while you sit at your computer or type away furiously in bed, is obviously not a writer!
Looking forward to that drink!
K.L.
Photography Tips
Health Focus
MS Paint Art
just put on a new post explaining more precisely what I am trying to do.
You'll see new images on both.
Looking forward to hearing from you and I think you're wonderful for being able to manage a toddler
as well as all your writing.
Come to think of it I had a friend whose tears used to rise, swell and flow almost instantly.
She is a Sagittarian.
Katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
MS Paint Art
Yes, never give up, that's good advice.
From "flashdance" If you give up your dream you die.
You're doing really well but to sell one needs to tune into what publishers are wanting and often the
test is not how good it is, it's whether if FITS their requirements and how much demand is placed on their services and their financial strength. Like, can they afford to get it wrong?
You are seeking their financial support, after all.
This isn't an 'I love publishers blurb', just trying to help you find your way through the maze.
Meanwhile, enjoy your life and loves.
katyzzz
Motherhood
Thank you so much for your lovely words...you are a light, shining on my posts!
Thanks so much,
K.L.
Motherhood
To Candice,
Thank you for your lovely words!
You must have impressed the publishing house/editor, because they don't very often, if at all, request any more work!
If you've got any, send it in...this is a major sign they really liked your voice!
Congrats!
Thanks for reading,
K.L.
Motherhood
Yes, this is huge! You're in with a very big chance if they've requested other work of yours....this is huge, and wonderful!
So, so happy for you.
I've never once been asked for anything else, or even my full manuscript! And I know for a fact there's plenty of others that haven't, either! So this is very positive for you.
You must send me a copy of the book!
K.L.
Photography Tips
Health Focus
MS Paint Art
As you had to leave the party early, rush over now and see how it all ended up.
I was awfully pleased you didn't cry, I shed a little tear later, myself.
katyzzz and on behalf of Jemima
How about I send you a signed copy of my book when it's published? (power of positive thinking and all that).
Better go practise my signature ....
PCOS Mum
Very attractive site. You must be a cheery person...