What Writing Has Taught Me...To Not Take No For An Answer
Writing, that bane of my existence (and great love, too...but really, what's the difference??), has taught me oh-so many things...
How to be humble. Humiliated. Heartbroken...
Yes, there's a theme going on there...I am talking about writing here, aren't I? Not my past love life?
But writing has also taught me how to be tough (sort of). I've developed a thicker skin after countless rejections, and enough people telling me 'Maybe you're just not good enough...'
'Maybe you're not cut out to be a writer...'
'Maybe this is something you should do later in life...you know, when your kids are grown...'
'Nobody makes it in writing these days. You should just cut your losses now.'
Yeah, well. Those people can go kiss my @#$!
(I mean that in the nicest possible way.)
But, yes, these countless murmurings, written rejections (sent to me on such days as my birthday! Come on, Universe! What's up with that??!!) have taught me not to give up.
Sure, there's been times I've almost done it. Almost thrown in the towel, and said 'That's it! I'm outta here!' But I've kept going...
Even after that fall from my bike, when I really did ponder seriously whether to give up.
I got right back on that bike, and began pedaling again (George, or Bullamakanka of Bagman's Gazette fame, helped me the most in getting back on that bike...his words of wisdom will forever be in my heart, and pinned to that corkboard above my desk).
Maybe that doesn't seem like such an achievement to some, but, believe me, it is. Like George says, writing is hard. If I don't go hard at it, I won't get anywhere.
Thank you, George.
The number one thing I can take away from my writing, is that I now don't look at rejections in the same manner. When those lovely letters, sometimes arriving from across the great Pacific, from those New York offices I love (loathe) so much, I used to fall apart. Grieve for this book of mine that (felt like) would never see the light of day...would never touch, or entertain, or make people laugh...make women swoon and men cover the cover so that no one notices they're reading a 'women's book'...
Now, I toss those rejections over my shoulder, in much the same way I envision those editors and agents doing to my manuscript in the first place. I toss it with a snort, and a 'Whatever!'
Then I go back, pick it up gently, and file it away in my Rejection Folder (I don't know why I keep these damn things! I'm holding onto them to do something good - possibly evil - with them one day).
'No' to me these days signals not to give up. To keep on trying. That rejection is relative.
This new outlook of mine has recently helped me in the job front. I've been trying to crack into the hotel housekeeping industry for awhile now, cause a) I felt it would be job that wouldn't take me away from my daughter for too many days a week; b) I plan on writing a romance series set in a hotel, and felt this would be great insider knowledge! and c) I love J.Lo in 'Maid in Manhatten.'
Anyway, one particular 5 star hotel interviewed me, and two weeks later (after I'd watched 'Maid in Manhatten' so many times I thought I could run a damn hotel by now) got the rejection letter in the mail.
Let's just say I was upset. I think my neighbours' are seriously curious (and disturbed) by now at just what I'm receiving in the mail that turns me into a person suffering from Tourette's at the letterbox every once in awhile (or a lot).
But, perhaps because of a folder full of rejections already, I decided not to take no for an answer. I rang Human Resources back, enquired whether if I changed my availabilities would this help.
Apparantly, it would help!
I hung up from her, sat down, and wrote what I thought was a stellar 'reconsider me' email.
The next day, I got a phone call from the hotel, from the same woman, saying the lady who had interviewed me, the Head of Housekeeping, wanted to see me again.
Yes! I thought. I'm back in!
A door had closed on me...but I'd kicked it back open.
The second interview went well. I was seen by three of the management there, and they liked me. They admired my determination and drive at chasing the job, despite getting an offical no.
I guess most people give up.
Not me.
This is the biggest, most valuable thing writing has taught me. No is not necessarily a no. Closed doors don't have to stay closed forever - you can kick them open. Chasing things doesn't always lead you in circles - it can get you places.
And like the author Joyce Spizer says in her book, Rejections of the Written Famous: 'No' is a word on your path to 'Yes.'
How to be humble. Humiliated. Heartbroken...
Yes, there's a theme going on there...I am talking about writing here, aren't I? Not my past love life?
But writing has also taught me how to be tough (sort of). I've developed a thicker skin after countless rejections, and enough people telling me 'Maybe you're just not good enough...'
'Maybe you're not cut out to be a writer...'
'Maybe this is something you should do later in life...you know, when your kids are grown...'
'Nobody makes it in writing these days. You should just cut your losses now.'
Yeah, well. Those people can go kiss my @#$!
(I mean that in the nicest possible way.)
But, yes, these countless murmurings, written rejections (sent to me on such days as my birthday! Come on, Universe! What's up with that??!!) have taught me not to give up.
Sure, there's been times I've almost done it. Almost thrown in the towel, and said 'That's it! I'm outta here!' But I've kept going...
Even after that fall from my bike, when I really did ponder seriously whether to give up.
I got right back on that bike, and began pedaling again (George, or Bullamakanka of Bagman's Gazette fame, helped me the most in getting back on that bike...his words of wisdom will forever be in my heart, and pinned to that corkboard above my desk).
Maybe that doesn't seem like such an achievement to some, but, believe me, it is. Like George says, writing is hard. If I don't go hard at it, I won't get anywhere.
Thank you, George.
The number one thing I can take away from my writing, is that I now don't look at rejections in the same manner. When those lovely letters, sometimes arriving from across the great Pacific, from those New York offices I love (loathe) so much, I used to fall apart. Grieve for this book of mine that (felt like) would never see the light of day...would never touch, or entertain, or make people laugh...make women swoon and men cover the cover so that no one notices they're reading a 'women's book'...
Now, I toss those rejections over my shoulder, in much the same way I envision those editors and agents doing to my manuscript in the first place. I toss it with a snort, and a 'Whatever!'
Then I go back, pick it up gently, and file it away in my Rejection Folder (I don't know why I keep these damn things! I'm holding onto them to do something good - possibly evil - with them one day).
'No' to me these days signals not to give up. To keep on trying. That rejection is relative.
This new outlook of mine has recently helped me in the job front. I've been trying to crack into the hotel housekeeping industry for awhile now, cause a) I felt it would be job that wouldn't take me away from my daughter for too many days a week; b) I plan on writing a romance series set in a hotel, and felt this would be great insider knowledge! and c) I love J.Lo in 'Maid in Manhatten.'
Anyway, one particular 5 star hotel interviewed me, and two weeks later (after I'd watched 'Maid in Manhatten' so many times I thought I could run a damn hotel by now) got the rejection letter in the mail.
Let's just say I was upset. I think my neighbours' are seriously curious (and disturbed) by now at just what I'm receiving in the mail that turns me into a person suffering from Tourette's at the letterbox every once in awhile (or a lot).
But, perhaps because of a folder full of rejections already, I decided not to take no for an answer. I rang Human Resources back, enquired whether if I changed my availabilities would this help.
Apparantly, it would help!
I hung up from her, sat down, and wrote what I thought was a stellar 'reconsider me' email.
The next day, I got a phone call from the hotel, from the same woman, saying the lady who had interviewed me, the Head of Housekeeping, wanted to see me again.
Yes! I thought. I'm back in!
A door had closed on me...but I'd kicked it back open.
The second interview went well. I was seen by three of the management there, and they liked me. They admired my determination and drive at chasing the job, despite getting an offical no.
I guess most people give up.
Not me.
This is the biggest, most valuable thing writing has taught me. No is not necessarily a no. Closed doors don't have to stay closed forever - you can kick them open. Chasing things doesn't always lead you in circles - it can get you places.
And like the author Joyce Spizer says in her book, Rejections of the Written Famous: 'No' is a word on your path to 'Yes.'
Like old Jack used to say "It's a good life if you don't weaken".
OTOH he also used to say "If you can't find a good woman, get a clean young man". Seems to me he also said "The wind is strong enough to blow a dog of a bitch"
Should I be teaching Kit such Australian colloquialisms?
Anyway, Have fun. Lifes too short to worry about soulless publishers.
George
That should be "a dog 'off' a bitch
George
Motherhood
George,
These Aussie lingos crack me...I might just have Kit saying such things in the next book!
As usual, your words always resonate...
Life is too short to worry. I'll see Betrayal in print...
My husband stresses, cause I add, 'If I have to sell my soul in the process' all the time.
What's a mere soul, after all?
Your crazy writing pal,
K.L.
Amazing what kind of writing a person can get paid for. I've written bar reviews, advertising, government tripe... but the real stuff, the stuff where my soul is invested, well... that's a lot harder. It's good to hear your thoughts on the matter.
All I can say is that we do it because there is no other way. Not writing is a kind of death for me.
I think of how Anne Frank's Diary and Moby Dick were rejected dozens of times before being accepted. I think of how Stephen King kept his rejection postcards tacked to his wall until the pile of postcards got so thick, he had to replace the tack with a three inch nail.
Que sera sera.
LaurenD
V8 Supercar Pitstop
Love this post.
Like you, I've had so many rejections that I no longer know what to do with them but it is sooo true that by using them to help instead of upset me I can become motivated to be even better than before.
I must admit, though, that it has made me look closely at my novel (the first book I wrote was called Imbroglio) and I've realised that there are changes that can be made to pull that agent in, hook, line and sinker.
So, I guess, in that respect, the rejections have helped me and made my book better than before. At least, it will be better than before when I get the revisions done. For now, I'm concentrating on Kate and trying to get her up to scratch.
Rejections make you stronger, they make you a better writer (as long as you let them), and they make you more determined to succeed.
Now all I need is a lovely letter saying congratulations, we'd like to take you on, Andrea. It will happen, I'm sure of it, and I reckon you've got a damn good chance of it happening to you too.
Looking forward to reading my next instalment of Betrayel, my Pink Bubbles friend.
A.H.
Motherhood
Hi LaurenD,
You're sounding like you've read Rejections of the Written Word, my dear...
Glad to hear it! It is a great motivating book.
I'm glad to hear you also get paid for some of your writing!
That's one up on me!!
But, yes, the stuff your soul is invested in is what truly matters....love how you said that....it is so true!
I guess if we invest enough of ourselves, it will happen for us sooner or later!
K.L.
Motherhood
Hello my lovely (fanged) MOSTEST Writing sis,
Your words are oh-so true and poignant....as usual.
You have a gift, Romance Queen, and it will be seen by the world soon!
Maybe we can do the blurb of recommendation on each other's books?? How cool would that be!!
We'd probably say the exact same thing about the other...(Twilight Music playing)
K.L. (The other Romance Queen)
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
If anything, wear them as a badge of honour, of having paid your 'dues'.
V8 Supercar Pitstop
You've got a deal. What great fun that would be, writing blurb recommendations for Corky and Kit.
Hope you have a nice night.
Your Writing Sis (with filed down fangs)
A.H.
Celebrity Obsession
Good for you. Sometimes I think those wise men we often refer to as "they", might have been on to something when they told us 'that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger'. Rejection, tough as it might be obviously has made you a stronger woman for it.
And I'm sure that toughness will be put to good use when those publishing houses finally wise up and decide to publish Betrayal.
KylieW
Rugby World Cup 2007
Without any malice nor ill will, next time you get one of those 'character building' letters...just say "damn...their loss..."
As Joe Blogg says, makes great post bestseller reading.
Also makes a good dartboard for your games room and/or with some artistic embellishment, entertaining wall hangings for your writing office overlooking the ocean in your pink mansion in Astoria...
How could you have a shred doubt that Kit is not you?...you gorgeous, strong woman you...
I still need to find out more about those sources I mentioned...
much MOSTEST to you...
Dusk
Flashes of memories
You are going to LOVE working in the Housekeeping Department. I did some work in a 5 star hotel last year and you would not BELIEVE what you find in the rooms or what the housekeeping staff get up to. I think by the time you are done you will have a best seller just in that - A day in the life of a housekeeper!
All the best with the book and good attitude - we should all take a leaf out of your book!
Ash
Motherhood
To Joe Blogg,
Thank you for your kind words...
I'm 30, by the way (that reminder was not kind, though).
Your advice helps to just keep moving forward!
Thanks for visiting,
K.L.
Motherhood
To A.H., my neglected sis,
Sorry, I've been away from the post!
How's it all going, lovely?
Enjoying your work, by the way...of course I am!
Will see you at your place soon,
Your Romance Queen (someone's got to romance us women),
K.L.
Motherhood
To KylieW,
Ah, my sweet Kylie...
Your lovely words on Betrayal, and my being published, are music to my ears...
Thank you, my dear.
K.L.
Motherhood
To DuskDevi,
Ah, my sweet MOSTEST GPMBL sister....
How I've missed you! How is it all going??
Your words always give me happy goosebumps, and increase the size of my head...
Oh, if any males read that, they would read all kinds of things into it...perhaps females, too.
Anyway, you knowing my true innermost desires (as well as everybody else on Orble) warms my heart. Astoria...pink mansions....pink champagne.....my baby girl, and a thousand more....and the Kit series published and every woman (and man) in the world reading the series....
See you at your place!! Heading over there...
Your sis,
K.L.
Motherhood
To Ash,
Your words are lovely and sweet....
Enjoy hearing from you, Ash.
K.L.
Motherhood
To Federline,
Let's run off and elope in Vegas.
Lots of pink champagne.
Oh, wait. We can't. You're never coming home!!
K.L.
Motherhood
Hi Candice!
Great to see you here!
Hope the sleeping's working out...
Thank you for your words...
K.L.
V8 Supercar Pitstop